Like a lot of people, I spend some time looking at compilations of funny stuff on YouTube, like “Top 10 Vines 2013″ and stuff like that. Things which have been clearly ripped off other websites by twelve-year-olds in Pakistan, and re-uploaded to YouTube for our enjoyment. For example:
Let me pause here to thank YouTube for being the world’s biggest, best, and most complete repository for stolen video content. All hail Google, I don’t know how they get away with it! Megaupload got shut down, but not YouTube… YouTube must have a lot better lawyers or something…..
In any case. Recently I’ve been seeing a ton VERY ANNOYING ads like this:
Have you seen one of these yet? They generally start by this guy telling you that you’re “wasting time on youtube”, and he’s going to solve this somehow with his auto insurance website. Pretty weird.
So I started seeing these ads, and I googled around and realized that nobody had written a review of it, so I thought I’d do it.
DISCLAIMER: I actually went through the Buzzquote process myself, and got a quote which saved me about $17 per month for my 2009 Acura, but YMMV (your mileage may vary)… it’s not exactly something I can try more than once. I bet some people go on Buzzquote and don’t get great quotes. But it’s hard to know.
UPDATE APRIL 2014… here is the most recent of the Buzzquote ads. This one is completely ridiculous:
Incidently, does anyone actually watch more than two minutes of these ads? Aren’t most YouTube users under the age of ten, and aren’t they really more interested in videos about Justin Bieber than twenty five minute infomercials about insurance (which use a lot of big words like ‘self-contradictory’ which 99% of Americans don’t understand)?
But something that I CAN do is look at what this Buzzquote guy is saying on his videos, and try to determine if it’s true or not.
I took the time to copy down his entire script, and I’m going to do some research to see if this stuff is true or not.
Hi, I’m buzzquote,
FALSE .. Er, what do you mean “I’m” buzzquote. That doesn’t make any sense. That’s like saying “I’m Yahoo”. Or “I’m a Big Mac”. This is nonsense.
this thing that we’re featuring here is just one example of the billions of ways you can waste your valuable time here on youtube
FALSE .. Total bullshit. Are you telling me that I should stop wasting time by watching your videos?
I can only imagine what kind of intellectually stimulating commentary is attached to it but let’s be honest… this stuff is not a great use of your time instead, please allow me to take this opportunity to urgently inform you that you’re being ripped off that you’re being cheated that a bunch of rich dudes are stealing your money for no reason.
TRUE … .Kind of true, I guess. There are lots of rich guys, and usually they got rich by overcharging for stuff. That’s pretty undeniable. Ever pay $5 for a bottled water a movie theater? There you go.
now, if that’s ok with you, please stop this video, and go back to wasting time but, if you’re NOT ok with that,then you need to go right now to buzzquote.me or click this button
FALSE … Bullshit, unsupported assertion.
Here’s some background. If you spend some time looking around my youtube channel, I think you’ll agree that what I’ve done here is totally unprofessional, the quality of my videos is quite bad,
TRUE .. I’ll agree to that. He uses this crap software EZVID to make his videos. I’m sure they were done on a Windows XP machine.
that I’ve devoted not more than three hour to throwing this thing together.
NOT SURE …. Not sure about this one. I bet it took a hell of a lot longer than three hours to make all these videos.
I mean, right now I’m featuring a video on my channel entitled “Am I Gay?”and another called “Why My videos suck”. Now ,obviously this is an amateur operation run by some dude out of his house.
TRUE Agreed. Clearly an amateur operation.
but still, this is what happened when I put buzzquote.me on youtube I got millions of views
TRUE. Look at the YouTube channel. It’s got about 13 millions views.
I got tens of thousands of comments
FALSE …Not sure. I can’t figure out how to count how many comments a youtube channel has gotten. I don’t think it’s a statistic that youtube makes public.
people were interested, people made fun of my lisp
TRUE. This guy has a wickedly annoying lisp, and there are lots of comments on his channel making fun of it.
but the story that I told just made sense
FALSE … Bullshit unsupported assertion.
and it’s the story I’m going to tell you right now – but first, I want to remind you that this is a video about how you should stop wasting time with things like this, and instead go to buzzquote.me to save a big pile of money ok, here goes So I was checking my online statements recently. and I was noticing that I got charged every month in my account for something called insurance which i never used.I mean, sure I had bills to pay but they were all for stuff that I used like my house or my phone or my internet but this insurance thing I didn’t actually use it so why was I paying for it?
TRUE, but at the same time taking advantage of the stupidity of the average YouTube user. The reason he didn’t use his insurance was because that’s not how insurance actually works. It’s not a fucking pair of jeans. You don’t “use” it, you have it, and hope that you don’t need to use it.
and, after I did some research I realized that what was happening was that all this “insurance” money was going to rich guys who were spending it on their fancy homes fancy boats and other rich guy stuff that they used off to their friends so I got pissed and I made this website called buzzquote.me … Now first of all, I need to tell you that getting a buzzquote is free and that you can get a buzzquote yourself to save a pile of money by going right now to buzzquote.me or clicking here….
TRUE. For example see here. The guys who run these insurance companies – and they are all basically guys, almost all white men — make a ton of money. And it’s safe to assume that they spend it on cars and boats and stuff. I don’t think that’s an unreasonable stretch.
Every year, the auto insurance industry spends about $5.9 billion dollars on advertising.
TRUE. See here.
Advertising that they you force you to watch on TV, on Billboards, in magazines, everywhere.
TRUE & FALSE…. Nobody is forced to watch TV advertising, but billboards are a different story. I guess you are sort of forced to look at billboards if you go outside. (And don’t live in Vermont, where billboards are outlawed.)
…………….. This is just the very beginning of my analysis… TO BE CONTINUED!